apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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