he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
