im drinking this country out of the recession.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
