never play flip cup with pint glasses
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Randomize
