If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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