Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
