Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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