Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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