I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
