I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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