Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
