Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
