Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
