i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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