are you so shy because you have an std?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
