Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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