I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
