Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
