i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
