dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
