I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
