It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
