i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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