we have pet lesbian snakes
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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