how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
