you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
