There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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