I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
