Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
