At least make sure they are 18
Why
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
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