Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
So. Much. Porn.
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