Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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