i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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