I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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