Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
