just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
