It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
