Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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