Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
