East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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