My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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