I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
