I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
