if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
