I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
