Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
