Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
