I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
