Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
