I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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