do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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