You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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